Tuesday, October 27, 2009

GSTV: Thoughts on the Cardinals Game

It was a rough loss but still a fun time on Sunday night, as I attended my first ever regular season NFL game and hung out with some fellow Giants' fans from YouTube.

Unfortunately, Big Blue couldn't add that final piece to the evening with a good performance. The team instead finds itself with some work to do after suffering two consecutive losses. The g-men need to rediscover their identity before Sunday's looming showdown against the Eagles. A third straight loss could spell trouble for the Giants. A 3-0 start in the division would put us right back in the driver's seat.

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Giants 5-2
Sack Count: 16
Take-away Count: 14

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Tuesday Two-Step: Week 7 Edition

I don’t know if it’s the back-to-back losses talking, but the 2009 NFL steadily is becoming less and less exciting by the week...ok, so it's definitely the losses talking. The good teams are good, the bad teams are not, and the Giants are making it hard to determine where they fall in the pecking order with their poor performances in consecutive weeks.

Speaking of poor performances, Jake has a real job now and can’t be here this week, so it will be a short-handed Two-Step for Week 7.

Bring on the random section titles with “step” in them!


Let's talk Week 7:

  • British fans at this year’s annual London game were outraged to discover the contest pitted two of the most loathed groups in the country’s history against each other: pirates and colonials. One fan remarked, “Oh, that’s great. Does one of them have to win? I mean really…What’s on the schedule for next year? The Catholics vs. the Prussians?!?”
  • Pressure, turnovers and points. The Steeler D remains the (black and) gold standard in the league.

LB Lamarr Woodley was one of the stars in Pittsburgh's stellar defensive performance against Minnesota.

  • On Monday, the Redskins tied a season high for most points in a half with ten. 'Nuff said...
  • Relax everyone, the Raiders are back to being terrible.
  • Gang Green got gang-banged on the injury front this week, losing the corner stone of their defense, DT Kris Jenkins, and skill position superman, RB Leon Washington, for the season.
  • Is Miles Austin the next Miles Davis? Wait…what?
  • The Dolphins wildcat offense confirms the “Green Day Rule”: when some new genre comes along, the originators do it best.
  • Who dey? Who dey? Who dey? The Bengals are 5-2…What the? What the? What the?
  • After whining like a spoiled prima donna about not being involved enough in the offense in last week’s win, Steve Smith South had 6 catches for 99 yards to go with a fat Carolina loss. Haven’t heard any complaints this week…
  • The highly anticipated clash of the Midwest titans ended up a bit of a disappointment, with Indianapolis surprisingly beating St. Louis in a blowout.

Giants Stumble

  • I can’t decide whether or not to be panicked about the inability of the defensive line to get more pressure. I’m not sure if it’s the new coordinator, the three starters coming back from knee injuries, or Canty’s absence. In any case, the team’s trademark on defense has been wanting.
  • Despite the lack of pass rush, the Giants still lead the league in total defense. Unfortunately, when the opponent starts every other possession in Giant territory, it still translates into over 20 points per game.
  • Sunday night, 2009 Eli looked like pre-2008 playoff run Eli. Anybody else wondering about that foot?
  • If they kept a stat for most games with at least one awesome play and one terrible play by a player, I think Terrell Thomas might lead the league. The guy is often great in coverage. He picked off a pass and broke up a deep ball on Sunday. He complimented that with a horrific missed tackle that resulted in an Arizona touchdown. Not the first time he's put on such a bipolar display.

CB Terrell Thomas picks off Kurt Warner in the first quarter of Sunday's loss to Arizona.

  • Monday morning, Brandon Jacobs’ picture was on the milk carton at the breakfast table. He was apparently abducted by some guy named “Kevin G.” who suffers from a mental disorder that causes him to try and mimic the high-flying passing attacks of his opponents. Police say “Kevin G.” can be identified by the trail of questionable plays he leaves strewn across a field in his wake, and by his creepy pervert moustache.
  • One last thought on the running game: I hope this “more Bradshaw” camp will keep quiet from now on. Two costly mistakes in consecutive weeks and a reduced load for Jacobs have not done much for this offense. Bradshaw is a great player, but Jacobs is a pillar of this offense and should be recognized and utilized as such.

The Top 10

1) New Orleans (6-0) (1) A huge come-from-behind win against a very good team cements the Saints’ status on top of the board.

2) Indianapolis (6-0) (2) The Colts were lucky they had two weeks to prepare for the Rams, otherwise…no, they still would’ve slaughtered St. Louis.

3) Denver (6-0) (3) The world waits with anticipation to see what horrific throwback uniform the Broncos will unveil next week.

4) Pittsburgh (5-2) (8) Told ya Jake.

5) Minnesota (6-1) (4) Another one bites the dust…

6) New England (5-2) (5) Despite back-to-back shellackings of their opponents, the Pats drop a spot to make room for the defending Super Bowl Champs.

7) Cincinnati (5-2) (9) An impressive win over the Bears earns Palmer, Benson, Ocho Cinco and co. the seventh spot this week.

8) New York Giants (5-2) (6) The Giants need to right the ship quickly before this slide becomes a plummet. A division win in Philly this week will do the trick.

9) Green Bay (4-2) (N/A) If Rodgers gets some help from his offensive line, who knows what this team might do. This week, they broke into the Two-Step Top 10.

10) Dallas (4-2) (N/A) I’d rather not talk about it…

Post your comments and let us know what you think. You can also post your own two-step thoughts below!

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Giants 5-2
Sack Count: 16
Take-away Count: 14

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Continue reading "Tuesday Two-Step: Week 7 Edition"

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Tuesday Two-Step: Week 6 Edition

These Shoes were Made for Stepping

Week 3 of the Two-Step, week 6 of the NFL season. Somehow, one of the most anticipated weekends of the year yielded the most disappointment. Certainly, the Giant debacle in New Orleans didn’t make things easier for fans of Big Blue to enjoy the slate of compelling games on Sunday, but with meltdowns in Oakland, New England, and the Meadowlands, this seemed to be one demoralizing Sunday.

  • Kyle Orton dips his ever-changing beard in Jack Daniels from time to time and has your typical well-covered-up history of youthful indiscretion with the ladies, but I tell you what, it's hard not to root for him. DIIIP IT! DIIIP IT!

Never thought you'd hear this: "Kyle Orton is one of the best QB's in the league."

  • Broncos Uniform Watch Wk 6: “Hot Dog Roller Derby” gives way to “Mustard-Stained Ding Dongs”

  • Norv Turner is the poster boy for brilliant coordinators/clueless head coaches everywhere.

  • On Monday, my 87-year-old Grandpa told me that he can tell the Bears are missing #54 but that Cutler just needs a little more time with his new receiver group. In the opposite wing of the retirement home, my 80-year-old Grandma told me that she's never seen a better team play worse. Fandom ages gracefully.

  • Don't sleep on the Packers, they deserve credit for not sleeping on the Lions, Culpepper and all.

  • I was impressed with the Vikings...you can say they shouldn't have won, but I think they made more plays in the game and deserved it. I'm not sure who looks hungrier right now, Jared Allen or Jared from Subway.

  • Jim Zorn calls plays as though he’s secretly in a pool betting on Washington “3 and Outs”…and thus he’s not calling plays anymore.

  • Albert Haynesworth: After leaving TEN for WAS, it’s like everything he touches turns to…well, it just sucks.

  • You know the Pats are back because Tom Brady is back to looking narcoleptic in the pocket, which is also a great name for a Crystal Method album.

Where's Randy? Steps needs more fantasy points...

  • By the transitive property of Al Davis, the Giants will beat the Eagles 44-3 in Week 8.

  • Ironically, Drew Brees does not blow…
  • You have to hate a guy like Jeremy Shockey…when he’s not on your team.

A Giant Step back?

  • Watching the Saints receivers against the Giants DBs was as close to a snuff film as you’ll get in the NFL...too extreme? Not as extreme as the whooping we took.
  • C.C. Brown led the team in tackles on Sunday. Unfortunately, they were all after double-digit gains by the Saints.

It wasn't really his fault Tom...

  • Sunday was the third time this season the Giants D went without a sack of the starting QB. It was the first time the defensive unit itself was “sacked,” as Drew Brees tea-bagged them up and down the field.

  • NFL.com headline apropos to my partner's title for this section: "Giant Step Back?" I, the Bears Guy, say 'No' and mean it. Did y'all expect to go 16-0? I still don't know whether I'd rather my team face the G-men or the Saints. It's about the match-ups. (BG)

Power Rankings

(The Top 10 is determined by finding the average of Will's and Jake's votes. Each team's record and their ranking from the previous week are noted in parenthesis next to the team name.)

Some big moves and fresh faces this week...

1) Saints (5-0) (3) When you pick apart the team previously believed to be number one, well...Outstanding QB, outstanding coaches, outstanding O-line, solid D and running game. (Steps)

2) Colts (5-0) (2) After a week off, Peyton Manning still runs this. (Steps)

3) Broncos (6-0) (4) I still don't get it. When I try to watch the Broncs play, that's all I can think. But hey, imagine how long Josh McDaniels' career could be! (BG)

4) Vikings (6-0) (5) Capable of more, unlikely to achieve it, still good enough to ruin the dreams of many. (BG)

5) New England (4-2) (N/A) 59-0. A game of Techmo Bowl later and the Pats are looking like a contender once again. (Steps)

6) Giants (5-1) (1) From dominant to dominated in 60 minutes, Big Blue has a lot to prove next Sunday against Arizona. (Steps)

7) Atlanta (4-1) (9) We now know the offense can be slowed, but that the defense can step up. if they get both clicking at the same time, it will be something to see. (BG)

8) Pittsburgh (4-2) (N/A) I told Steps Pittsburgh hasn't beaten anyone good. He didn't care, and he's probably right. (BG)

9) Cincinatti (4-2) (6) The Bengals will need to stay sharp if they won't hold onto to their winning ways, not to mention the AFC North title. Someone ask OchoCinco if there's an app for that.(Steps)

10) Chicago (3-2) (N/A) Trade acquisition Gaines Adams brings the type of body that, relative to his position, compares to Adrian Peterson's or Terrell Owens. He also brings a Wonderlic score of 7. The Bears are going to have to figure out how to win with the players they started with, while Rod Marinelli teaches Adams the difference between an X and an O. (BG)

Please post your comments and let us know what you think. Spread the word about the Tuesday Two-Step on Giants' Steps

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Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Tuesday Two-Step: Week 5

The Tuesday Two-Step returns for a second installment to ponder the major stories of Week 5.

Steps Around the NFL
  • In Week 5, the Bronco’s “Hotdog Roller Derby” throwbacks beat out “We Suck at Double Dare” slime green Seahawks alternates for ugliest uniform of 2009.

  • Barf-tastic!

  • And the players in the uniforms? Kyle Orton has a low ceiling, Denver's defense was just plain terrible last season, Shanahan was an irreplacable offensive genius, and I personally have to own up to the fact that this offseason I saw the Donkeys as being headed for the Raider-logo-emblazoned black hole that is the bottom of the AFC west. You can't explain it all away by pointing out that some little guy named Elvis has been running circles around the league's left tackles.

  • I wonder if the Cowboys will need overtime to beat the bye this week.

  • 2 of 17, Derek Anderson? How?! That sounds more plausible as your birth order in a ridiculously large orthodox farming family than as a completion ratio in a football game.

  • McNabb-to-Maclin falls just shy of Manning-to-Manningham in QB-Receiver duos with similar-sounding names.

  • "Cedric Benson leads league in rushing” sounds like an Onion headline. It’s not.

Benson's league-leading performance through five weeks is perhaps more surprising than his team's division-leading performance.

  • On Cedric Benson: Among the biggest draft busts in history. The back that by his insolence, injuries, and ineptitude failed to show any reason why he should be considered starting material in Chicago and ran off the heroic, fiery Thomas Jones in the process. The back taken with the 4th pick when Frank Gore went #65. The back who is now leading the league in rushing, and doing it for the Cincinnatti Bengals.

  • Matt and Tim Hasslebeck are to QB brother baldness what Eli and Peyton Manning are to QB brother play on the field.

  • Braylon Edwards is still winless in 2009.

  • It’s looking like a seamless transition at the Chad for the Dolphins.

QB Chad Henne has looked impressive taking over for injured Chad Pennington.

  • Rush Limbaugh wants to buy the Rams. As if that team didn’t suck enough already…

  • Minnesota has beaten Cleveland, Detroit, San Francisco, Green Bay, and St. Louis, to become 5-0. Sure, there's something to be said for just showing up and executing. While certainly there's no shame in close wins over the Niners and the Pack, there is some shame in the fact that ESPN has the Vikes ranked 3 when, according to their own rankings, they haven't beaten anyone ranked better than 14 (14, 15, 26, 28, 32). The Broncos are ranked 5 after having beaten Cincinnatti (6) and New England (10) on top of a bunch of nobodies.

Giants' Steps

Not much to be witty about in a week in which the Giants were pretty much perfect. That said:

  • Way to go Sinorice Moss.

  • For the second time this season a Giant Safety’s touchdown did not count.

  • Jamarcus Russell is big and bad in the most unflattering, literal way possible.

  • I think the Giants have more guys named Johnson on their roster than the Raiders had first downs Sunday.

  • After going 3 for 3, I guess Tynes found the right shoe in that bag of his…

The Top 10

(The Top 10 is determined by finding the average of Will's and Jake's votes. Each team's record and their ranking from the previous week are noted in parenthesis next to the team name.)

1. Giants (5-0) (3) When you are one bounce away from winning a game 44 or 51-0, no matter who you play, that deserves a move up the ladder. Big Blue has the talent, depth and experience to hold down the number one spot…

2. Indianapolis (5-0) (1) The class of the AFC through 5 games. They fall to number 2 by default, but it’s hard to separate the top spots.

3. New Orleans (4-0) (2) The bye week set them back in the win column. “1C” wouldn’t make for very good power rankings.

4. Broncos (5-0) (N/A) Two impressive wins in a row, this team is surprisingly for real.

5. Vikings (5-0) (4) Play-makers in all phases of the game and some wins against tough teams.

6. Cincy (4-1) (N/A) Wow…go figure.

7. Philly (3-1) (8) Donovan McNabb makes an impressive return as Philly lights up the Bucs.

8. Baltimore (3-2) (6) Some costly and uncharacteristic penalties cost them a close one against the Bengals.

9. Atlanta (3-1) (N/A) A la McNabb, the Falcons are back with a vengeance, following a whoopin’ of the Niners. The Dirty Birds make their debut on the Giants’ Steps Top 10.

10. Jets (3-2) (10) Two losses to two very good teams has Gang Green reeling, but they will recover.

Please post your comments and let us know what you think. Spread the word about the Tuesday Two-Step on Giants' Steps!

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