Tuesday Two-Step: Week 6 Edition

These Shoes were Made for Stepping

Week 3 of the Two-Step, week 6 of the NFL season. Somehow, one of the most anticipated weekends of the year yielded the most disappointment. Certainly, the Giant debacle in New Orleans didn’t make things easier for fans of Big Blue to enjoy the slate of compelling games on Sunday, but with meltdowns in Oakland, New England, and the Meadowlands, this seemed to be one demoralizing Sunday.

• ALL BOW DOWN BEFORE THE MIGHTY AFC WEST!



• Kyle Orton dips his ever-changing beard in Jack Daniels from time to time and has your typical well-covered-up history of youthful indiscretion with the ladies, but I tell you what, it's hard not to root for him. DIIIP IT! DIIIP IT!

Never thought you'd hear this: "Kyle Orton is one of the best QB's in the league."

• Broncos Uniform Watch Wk 6: “Hot Dog Roller Derby” gives way to “Mustard-Stained Ding Dongs”



• Norv Turner is the poster boy for brilliant coordinators/clueless head coaches everywhere.



• On Monday, my 87-year-old Grandpa told me that he can tell the Bears are missing #54 but that Cutler just needs a little more time with his new receiver group. In the opposite wing of the retirement home, my 80-year-old Grandma told me that she's never seen a better team play worse. Fandom ages gracefully.
  
  
• Don't sleep on the Packers, they deserve credit for not sleeping on the Lions, Culpepper and all.



• I was impressed with the Vikings...you can say they shouldn't have won, but I think they made more plays in the game and deserved it. I'm not sure who looks hungrier right now, Jared Allen or Jared from Subway.



• Jim Zorn calls plays as though he’s secretly in a pool betting on Washington “3 and Outs”…and thus he’s not calling plays anymore.



• Albert Haynesworth: After leaving TEN for WAS, it’s like everything he touches turns to…well, it just sucks.



• You know the Pats are back because Tom Brady is back to looking narcoleptic in the pocket, which is also a great name for a Crystal Method album.

Where's Randy? Steps needs more fantasy points...

• By the transitive property of Al Davis, the Giants will beat the Eagles 44-3 in Week 8.

• Ironically, Drew Brees does not blow…

• You have to hate a guy like Jeremy Shockey…when he’s not on your team.

A Giant Step back?

• Watching the Saints receivers against the Giants DBs was as close to a snuff film as you’ll get in the NFL...too extreme? Not as extreme as the whooping we took.

• C.C. Brown led the team in tackles on Sunday. Unfortunately, they were all after double-digit gains by the Saints.

It wasn't really his fault Tom...

• Sunday was the third time this season the Giants D went without a sack of the starting QB. It was the first time the defensive unit itself was “sacked,” as Drew Brees tea-bagged them up and down the field.

• NFL.com headline apropos to my partner's title for this section: "Giant Step Back?" I, the Bears Guy, say 'No' and mean it. Did y'all expect to go 16-0? I still don't know whether I'd rather my team face the G-men or the Saints. It's about the match-ups. (BG)

Power Rankings

(The Top 10 is determined by finding the average of Will's and Jake's votes. Each team's record and their ranking from the previous week are noted in parenthesis next to the team name.)

Some big moves and fresh faces this week...

1) Saints (5-0) (3) When you pick apart the team previously believed to be number one, well...Outstanding QB, outstanding coaches, outstanding O-line, solid D and running game. (Steps)

2) Colts (5-0) (2) After a week off, Peyton Manning still runs this. (Steps)

3) Broncos (6-0) (4) I still don't get it. When I try to watch the Broncs play, that's all I can think. But hey, imagine how long Josh McDaniels' career could be! (BG)

4) Vikings (6-0) (5) Capable of more, unlikely to achieve it, still good enough to ruin the dreams of many. (BG)

5) New England (4-2) (N/A) 59-0. A game of Techmo Bowl later and the Pats are looking like a contender once again. (Steps)

6) Giants (5-1) (1) From dominant to dominated in 60 minutes, Big Blue has a lot to prove next Sunday against Arizona. (Steps)

7) Atlanta (4-1) (9) We now know the offense can be slowed, but that the defense can step up. if they get both clicking at the same time, it will be something to see. (BG)

8) Pittsburgh (4-2) (N/A) I told Steps Pittsburgh hasn't beaten anyone good. He didn't care, and he's probably right. (BG)

9) Cincinatti (4-2) (6) The Bengals will need to stay sharp if they won't hold onto to their winning ways, not to mention the AFC North title. Someone ask OchoCinco if there's an app for that.(Steps)

10) Chicago (3-2) (N/A) Trade acquisition Gaines Adams brings the type of body that, relative to his position, compares to Adrian Peterson's or Terrell Owens. He also brings a Wonderlic score of 7. The Bears are going to have to figure out how to win with the players they started with, while Rod Marinelli teaches Adams the difference between an X and an O. (BG)

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